There aren’t a lot of perks of being sick, but while I was huffily tossing and turning last week while trying to take a nap, I thought of one and it came through in a lightning bolt phrase…
My only job is joy.
I work with a coach who has a recovery program and I reach out to her with whatever I’m struggling with at the time. And she often reminds me that the more time I can spend in a ventral state with my nervous system, the better that is for symptoms.
The ventral state is all about feeling connected, grounded calm, safe, and in the moment. And you know what brings that a lot of the time? Joy.
So I end up spending a lot of my time figuring out how to be in joy as much as possible.
Lately that has looked like listening to some of my favorite podcasts, listening to music, doing a paint by numbers, going outside and watching people walk by, or sitting in nature and like, just appreciating its beauty.
And as I ask myself daily, “what would bring you joy in this moment?” I feel really grateful for the reminder that that is what life is all about and the opportunity to really understand this point and drive it home. It’s what recovery is all about, but it’s also what life is all about, and most people forget that. I used to be one of those people, so I know that feeling well.
It’s really easy in life to get caught up in situations that are filled with struggles and unhappiness. So many of us try so hard to get the things in life we think we want, or that our parents wanted for us, or that society tells us we should want, or that a former self decided we wanted once and we never questioned. So we go through the motions. We wake up day after day with the same amount of trips to the coffee pot, with the same basic conversations with the people in our lives, with the same anxieties and fears about our lives and futures, and the same problems going around and around for us in a cycle.
It’s usually when a major life shit-show happens that you snap out of this and change your life. A shit-show like a life-threatening illness, the loss of a loved one, or just a general blend of life not going the way you thought it would or wanted it to, and a certain sense of dissatisfaction with that.
And as I was thinking about this while rolling around in my bed trying to nap, I thought about how much better people’s lives would be if they also knew this. Like not just from a meme on Instagram, but really knew it in your bones that your only job in life, too, is joy. I wondered if there were different choices you’d make, or decisions you’ve been dragging your feet on that you’d stop doing that if you knew that it could all end tomorrow and your last day was spent worrying about whether someone didn’t like that one thing you said a week ago.
It’s unfortunate that tragedy usually brings this to people’s lives, but I really wish it didn’t go that way, because by the time that tragedy does come, it’s often too late, or it takes such hard work to find those joyful moments, and you might not be able to do a lot of those things that bring you joy and you have to find it in much much smaller things like a blade of grass growing (true story).
So my wish for you, my friends, is to think about this. To bring the message into your heart, and ask it in a whisper while in your own cozy bed, “how can I live in more joy, now? What can I do more of and what can I stop doing?” and then listen.
I sure wish I did more when I wasn’t sick and could actually DO those things that whispered to me, or rather, I’d go back in time and make different choices about who I spent my time with and what I spent my time thinking about.
I realize this won’t be news to anyone. WE ALL KNOW THIS ALREADYAHHHH. :) And I don’t think I’m dropping some never-before-seen wisdom on you. I guess I’m sharing in case this serves as a reminder of something you already know, but maybe have forgotten. And also, selfishly, it’s annoying AF to watch ableds waste a life that a sickie would kill for, and I want to be able to live vicariously through your joyful experiences (can someone take my dream Spain trip for me please??)
Haiku of the Week
I wanna hear your joyful plans! Feel free to respond and share with me one joyful thing that comes to mind for you and I’m so happy it’s that you’re gonna tell that person who’s been hating on you to F off. J/k. Or am I? :)
XO
🖤 Sally 🖤
P.s. I almost wasn’t able write this because of some personal stuff I’ve been dealing with the last few days. And those secrets I’ll be sharing with my paid VIP list below this paywall.
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