He woke me up like this
He used to wake me up by blasting the Rolling Stones and barging into my room and dancing to the song, and as a teenager, I’d roll my eyes and put my blanket over my head until the song was over and he’d leave, and 29 years, to the day, after he died in that very same bedroom on a hospital bed in a morphine coma, the vision of his dance moves atop the seafoam green carpet are still as fresh in my mind as ever.
Every year, February 17th comes and goes. Some years I don’t even realize it and the day passes like any other with too much scrolling on my phone and trying to pass the time without dying from illness-boredom.
And some years, like this one, he is all around me.
I woke up remembering the dancing, and so I got up, looked out at the same sand he used to from the dream house he built, watching the waves he used to, and put on a playlist of some of his favorite songs that he put on a mixed tape for me sometime in the 90’s: Elvira, Lay Down Sally, Barbara Ann, Start Me Up.
My partner asked me today how I’m feeling on this anniversary, and while all years are different, this year I feel happiness and gratitude for the person he was, the life he gave me, the memories I have, and all the qualities in him I loved that he passed down to me like silliness, a strong sense of self and style, the love of music and dance, and going after all his dreams.
He’s the guy that threw the 4th of July party on the beach with a band, the one who invited all his medical school buddies on a ski trip to the slopes in Mammoth, the one with a drumset in his living room, the one blasting music in his red convertible on the way to get ice cream on a hot summer day, and the one who wore a different patterned bowtie when he went to work as a pediatrician, a visual that moms still remember to this day, even into their 80’s.
My dad was awesome. Flawed like all of us, but awesome too. And today, especially, I’m appreciating it all.
Here’s my haiku for the week…
Hope you have a great weekend full of memories that make you smile too.
XO
Sally
P.s. Below are more 80’s blurry pics from that beach house he loved so much, his bowties, and one of the last pics of me and him ever, Christmas 1994, for my paid VIPS. <3